The Irony of birth

Here I am 9 months later from that first pregnancy test, up again at 4 AM. The irony of this can't be missed by anyone, looks like I am in labor. Just so as not to mess with the program, when I told Brad I was having contractions and AFTER I had assured him that I didn't need to go to the hospital yet, he promptly fell back asleep. So here I am again all excited and worried up by myself. I actually woke up a little after 3 AM and was not quite sure what was going on. There isn't a lot of room in there so I couldn't tell if the pain I was feeling was because I had rolled over in my sleep too quickly or a contraction. I lay awake in bed and waited... when the next one came and I hadn't moved I had to assume something was up. I waited until two more had come and gone before I called my Mom. She lives 8 hours + away and if this is the real deal needed to get going if she is going to make it here to help me through this. Another little piece of irony is that she was planning on coming up today any way just at a more reasonable hour. I had big plans to "make" myself go into labor set up for today and tomorrow, so he could be here for her Birthday on August 22, and so the doctor’s wouldn’t have to induce me. Today; the plan was to get a massage, an acupuncture appointment, followed by a long walk, and to finish pressure washing the driveway. Tomorrow; a habanero pepper egg breakfast, long walk, membrane sweep at the doctor office, spicy lunch at a Thai restaurant, another long walk, and I was playing around with the thought of castor oil but I hear that can be quite messy. But it looks like Rourke is already too smart for me, as he had heard of his coming eviction notice and has decided to leave things on his own terms. At least I hope this is not a false alarm or I am going to feel really silly. The contractions are not that bad yet and are about 20 minutes apart with some minor contractions in between to keep me on my toes. Well, all we can do is wait, and after 9 months of waiting I have gotten pretty good at that. I guess we will know for sure in a couple of hours.

38 weeks, 6 days

How far along? 38  weeks, 6 days

Maternity Clothes: with this heat only dresses!
Total weight gain:  down to 16 pounds again....
Stretch marks?  None that I can see and it looks like I've going to avoid the line down the belly too!
Sleep: Only woke up 4 times last night between legs cramps and bathroom trips...
Best moment this week:  Getting to Play with Kaylee, Nick and Baby Kasen all weekend!
Miss Anything?  Being able to move like I used to... I keep forgetting how big I am and try to do things that just don't work.
Movement: It is slowing down but a lot more dramatic when it does happen. I think we are both frustrated with the lack of room.
Food cravings:  None really this week.... way too hot to want to eat
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing having a great week
Labor Signs: Yup! I have started to feel contractions, this of course again means nothing but the doctor is concerned that Rourke might be bigger than they originally thought so they are stripping my membranes on Tuesday to help get things started.
Symptoms: low back pain and contractions
Belly Button in or out?  not all the way out but you can see it through all my clothes
Wedding rings on or off?  On getting harder to take on and off in this heat... did I mention it was hot?
Happy or Moody most of the time: So EXCITED!!!!! Almost done!
Looking forward to:  My mom to get here Monday and for this waiting to be over. I just want to be holding my little guy and laying on my stomach!

37 weeks, 6 days

How far along? 37 weeks, 6 days

Maternity Clothes: I have my favorite outfits that I wear in a weekly order... I can't wait to be back in normal clothes
Total weight gain: 16.5 pounds!
Stretch marks? Nope! I'm hoping that since I have held off this long I'm in the clear!
Sleep: Getting harder again, he dropped down a little more and I have to pee all the time. Plus Brad must be nervous as his night terrors are getting more regular and they wake me up.
Best moment this week: Getting the wood floors done and the baby room all set up! We may be finally ready!
Miss Anything? Sadly, I think it is alcohol this week. This weekend in my 10 year high school reunion and I hate not being able to drink socially.
Movement: Mine and Brad's new favorite game is to place a plate on my stomach in the evening and watch Rory try to kick it off.
Food cravings: Bread and cheese.... no idea why
Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating/drinking too much too quickly
Labor Signs: According to the doctor I am now 100% effaced and still less than a centimeter dilated. This means he could come any time or I could still have a few weeks left. Basically nothing...
Symptoms: low back pain, I am now ready to get this little guy here regardless of my fear of labor. 
Belly Button in or out? an outish in....
Wedding rings on or off? On, I went ring shopping with my childhood friend the other day (for his girlfriend) and it was the only thing that saved us from judgement.
Happy or Moody most of the time: I was SUPER moody last week, but this week I'm feeling pretty good!
Looking forward to: This weekend we are staying with my bf Kaylee for my high school reunion. I'm excited to get some girl time in and to get to practice on her little one Kasen!

The real face of pregnancy

These are a few of the fun pictures our photographer took that I didn't think were up to "facebook" standards. Yes, I'm sexy and I know it....

36 weeks, 6 days

How far along? 36 weeks, 6 days

Maternity Clothes: Of course, I'm wearing maternity clothes, I'm 9 months pregnant! My main concern these days are what shoes to wear. With my center of gravity so off, wedges and heels make me fall over when I bend down.
Total weight gain: Official doctor scale 14.8 pounds. I freaked out when I heard this… Who loses weight when pregnant? But the doctor said my belly was still growing and Rourke is not a small baby so to just not worry about weight… easy for her to say.
Stretch marks? Still none that I can see
Sleep: With my due date fast approaching I’m starting to freak myself out and having panic attacks. Two days ago I almost got up at 4 AM to clean out a closet.
Best moment this week: Getting more of our maternity picture back (love them) and even with the weight thing my doctor’s appointment. I love hearing Rory’s heart beat and hearing from the doctor that everything is ok.
Miss Anything? Not worrying about everything baby
Movement: Love feeling him move but to be honest its getting kind of painful
Food cravings: Watermelon
Anything making you queasy or sick: The time moving by so fast…
Labor Signs: According to the doctor I am 85% effaced and less than a centimeter dilated, so I still have a ways to go.
Symptoms: I’m forgetting everything these days, I just spent an hour looking for a container of sour cream that I had put on top of the refrigerator.  
Belly Button in or out? Moving further towards out.
Wedding rings on or off? On, still no swelling.
Happy or Moody most of the time: This week I’m going to have to say moody… I’m full term tomorrow and I don’t feel like we are ready at all anymore. So many little projects!
Looking forward to: Rourke being in my arms safe and sound

35 weeks, 6 days

How far along? 35 weeks, 6 days

Maternity Clothes: Some non maternity shirts still fit but after I wear them they are never the same. But on a good note found a dress for my high school reunion!

Total weight gain: Official doctor scale 15.2 pounds

Stretch marks? Still nothing but I'm growing faster now

Sleep: The last few nights have been amazing! I think I'm getting the hang of sleeping with a towel on either side for belly support.
Best moment this week: My doctor appointment today and the baby shower at Brad's work. The doctor said everything is looking perfect and we now have everything for little Rory!
Miss Anything? feeling cold... I'm hot all the time now!
Movement: The poor guy is running out of room so his movement is a lot slower (and a lot more painful for me)
Food cravings: Ice Cream this week

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing (its been a great week)

Labor Signs: Nothing yet, but I was happy to hear he is still head down!
Symptoms: My stomach itches a lot from its constant growth and I definitely have back pain every day. Brad has been amazing with a back rub every night!
Belly Button in or out? Still just a rim but it looks out in tight clothing

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Really happy but I can and do loose my cool for no reason these days. I hate it cause its hard not to know your being an ass afterwards and then I feel awful.

Looking forward to: Completing the work on our downstairs flooring! I need/want the house to be perfect when Rourke gets here and I'm full term next week.

34 weeks, 4 days

How far along? 34 weeks, 4 days

Maternity Clothes: I sadly out grew one of my maternity dresses yesterday... I went to change into it after the gym and couldn't zip it up. Good thing I had a cardigan.

Total weight gain: about 14 pounds

Stretch marks? none, but I thinking I'm starting to get the line down the center of my stomach... not a fan

Sleep: My body pillow isn't working any more I've started to use rolled up towels to support the belly while I sleep. Its not really working.
Best moment this week: Picking up the flooring for our down stairs! No more carpet! 

Miss Anything? Being comfortable

Movement: We have had a lot of foot action this week
Food cravings: Cherries!!!!  

Anything making you queasy or sick: Strong smells and eating too much

Labor Signs: Nope but he is head down and only 2.5 weeks more to go until full term

Symptoms: the top of my belly hurts from time to time and too much sitting causes low back pain
Belly Button in or out? I would have thought it would have been out by now but it is still just a rim.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but with a chance of tears for no reason

Looking forward to: The back massage my husband promised me tonight!

33 weeks 6 days

How far along? 33 weeks 6 days

Maternity Clothes: I can still fit in non maternity maxi dresses... but not well

Total weight gain: Official doctors weigh in 12.6 pounds

Stretch marks? We shall see after the baby is born, but none I can see at this time

Sleep: I wake up a lot trying to find a comfortable spot
Best moment this week: My mom coming to visit and getting the good news that Rourke is head down! 

Miss Anything? Sleeping through the night/being able to sleep in

Movement: Rory has got the butt dance down
Food cravings: Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate and more Chocolate  

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too quickly

Labor Signs: none at all

Symptoms: low back pain and sore muscles
Belly Button in or out? pretty close to just popping out

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Still happy! I love being pregnant. 

Looking forward to: Being full term, we are so close!

Bad Mother...

I was at the gym Thursday morning when I got a verbal slap in the face from an old woman. To set this story up I need to explain; I try and work out at least once a day for an hour every day. I work very hard to stay in shape, not only for me but also for the health of, Rourke, my unborn son. My Doctor is very supportive of this and loves that I'm keeping so healthy and fit.  If he didn't think it was a good idea, I of course would stop! I'm 33 weeks along now and have only gained 13 pounds, but again my Doctor is very supportive of this and is happy to confirm on my bi-weekly appointments just how healthy Rourke is. This is of course the most important thing in the world to me and Brad right now.

Sorry...I know I'm ranting, I'm just still so angry... on Thursday I'm on the elliptical minding my own business and an old (75ish) lady comes and stands in front of my machine. She is staring at me and since I have no other option I can think of I take off one of my I-pod ear buds and smile at her. This smile is not returned and the woman says quite crossly, "Don't they have a speed limit on those things? You are going too fast!". If you have seen me work out or run anywhere you know I'm quite lazy, so there is no way this is true. While I try not snort with a giggle, making a joke in my head about old people who drive slow, I respond, “Just getting my morning workout in". The mean old witch then replies, "You work out too much your already being a BAD MOTHER to that poor baby" (insert jaw drop here). My brilliant reply to this is to say, "That is your opinion", and to glare at her as she walks away. I never seem to have the right come back ready at the time I need them... HOW DARE ANYONE EVER SAY THAT TO ANYONE!?!? Okay, you can say it to a meth head... but to a stranger at the gym? I work so hard to stay healthy and then to hear that has made me quite self-conscious. Now if someone says how small I am or how compact my stomach is I find myself awkwardly defending my belly for no reason. So I apologize if you are one of those poor people I have tried to defend myself to recently, its not you, it’s me trying to prove I'm not a bad mother...

32 weeks, 6 days

How far along? 32 weeks, 6 days
Total weight gain/loss: 13 pounds
Maternity clothes?  love them, no way to avoid them, just wish I had more of them!
Stretch marks?  Nothing yet but my stomach is taking on a mind of its own so we shall see.
Sleep: My body is starting to prepare me for the no sleep I will get when the baby comes by limiting the amount of sleep I get now.
Best moment this week:  Sharing the 4th with friends on a boat.
Miss Anything?  Social drinking the 4th was interesting being the only non drinker in the group.
Movement:  I can see his little butt sticking out of my belly!
Food cravings:  Chocolate this week, but any sweets will do.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  If I eat too much and then he starts moving, there is just only so much room.
Have you started to show yet:  can no longer see my feet...
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs:  None that I can tell
Belly Button in or out?  so weird looking almost out
Wedding rings on or off? On I have to wear it at work now I had an old man get concerned that I was going to be a single parent
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but tired (lack of sleep)
Looking forward to: Our friends gender release next week and another doctor appointment means another listen to the heartbeat.

31 weeks, 3 days

How far along? 31 weeks, 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: 11 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes, starting to think about my 10 year reunion and what I am going to still be able to fit into by August 11.
Stretch marks? They are bound to happen I'm growing so fast now!
Sleep: I wake up super early no matter what but at least I'm getting a ton done on the weekends.
Best moment this week: My Bellingham Baby Shower!!!!
Miss Anything? The sun... we have had to push back our maternity pictures three times now.
Movement: I'm pretty sure there is an alien in my body
Food cravings: Ice Cream
Anything making you queasy or sick: Strong smells
Have you started to show yet: oh heak yeah.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: nope but only 6 weeks left until full term
Belly Button in or out? It now can be seen through my shirts (even with an extra tank top on)
Wedding rings on or off? On, no swelling yet…
Happy or Moody most of the time: I started to cry Sunday and had no reason what so ever.
Looking forward to: Finally getting our maternity pitures taken on Wednesday (think sun) and the doctor appointment on Thursday!

Predicting Baby Rourke

Just something cool we did in our birthing class. I guess we will have to see who gets more right...

Prediction:                    Colleen                 Brad

Birth Date:                               August 22                   September 1

Time of Birth:                         8:00 PM                      10:00 AM

Length of Labor:                    16 hours                       6 hours

Baby’s Weight:                       8 pounds                       8.8 pounds

Baby’s Length:                        21 inches                      18.75 inches

Baby’s Hair Color:                  Blonde                          Brown

Baby’s Hair Amount:             Full Head                      A little on top

Baby’s Temperament:          Fussy                              Awesome

29 weeks, 3 days

How far along? 29 weeks, 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: 9 pounds
Maternity clothes? I have been using my “pre pregnancy” summer dresses as shirts.
Stretch marks? Looking good so far
Sleep: I just bought a body pillow! His name is Edward and I love him... he supports the belly while I sleep
Best moment this week: Flying to Cali to visit family, they got to feel Rourke move!
Miss Anything? Alcohol, really wanted to try one of Uncle Mike's "Dark& Stormies" this weekend
Movement: Yes, day and night! Love the feeling; I know I'm going to miss that the most when he is here… that and sleep.
Food cravings: Food... I want to eat everything all the time. I'm going to gain a ton in these last 10 weeks.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Strong smells have lately started to get to me.
Have you started to show yet: There is no way to hide it, hence the bikini pictures from this weekend. I have just decided to own it!
Gender prediction: He had better still be a boy or really like boy clothes
Labor Signs: None but our birth plan is ready
Belly Button in or out? Almost out, I need it to hold on until after this weekend and our maternity pictures!
Wedding rings on or off? On, that way old people stop asking if I'm married.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but as I get bigger, I can tell this may change
Looking forward to: Friday, I get to hear his heartbeat again and this Saturday we have our Maternity pictures!!!

Showered with Support

This last Saturday, June 2, 2012, I had my first baby shower to celebrate the end of my young adult years and this leap into parenthood. That’s what I truly believe showers are, whether they are bridal or baby showers, they are meant to be celebrations of ending chapters of our life. Yes, you get presents (and boy oh boy (pun intended) did we need/ appreciate them) but to me what meant the most is to see my friends and family there to support and encourage me. Any new parent-to-be who tells you they are not scared stiff at the thought of impending parenthood as it draws every closer are either big fat (not a pregnancy joke) liars or much stronger than me. There are a lot of changes that come with becoming a parent that not only change who you are, how you live your life, but also how you interact with the people around you. One of my biggest fears is that by making the choice to become a mom, I will lose my friends. Who wants to have a weekend sleep over at the Venables’ house when it means that you may be woken up by a fussy hungry baby? “Hey everyone lets go celebrate, so-and-so’s, birthday out at the bar!”, sorry guys we have to pass AGAIN as they don’t allow babies in bars and we can’t find a sitter. One of the reasons Brad and I wanted to become parents is that we are so happy with our lives and the people around us that we wanted to share this home we have made with another and to show him how great life can be. But by having a baby could we then be losing that life? By coming to my baby shower I felt like everyone there was there to support us and reassure me of their love. I know there is so much joy you gain in bringing life into this world and we are so very excited to meet Rourke. This weekend showed me that my family and friends will always be there for me, maybe not in the exact way they were before but just because there is change does not make it negative. The shower made this all see so real to me, he is coming and it is not that far off (12 more weeks)! I have spent the last two days doing baby clothes laundry and setting up our nursery which has really put things in perspective for me. I can’t say that we are completely ready, but I can say that I know we can do this and I’m so happy I have the support of those I love around me.

 

PS A huge "Thank You", to my Mom, Lois, Katie, Amy, Whitney, and Kaylee for putting the shower together! Love You!